This was the day the Lord made..

1:00 AM was the start of my day as it meshed in with the end of yesterday. I didn't expect to have such a hard time sleeping last night but alas, the bags under my eyes prove it to be true. Maybe it was the anxiety over Christopher's tests today, maybe it was the trains that kept coming and going through town, maybe it's my infinite (or so it seems) list of to-do's before we move, or maybe I'm not immune to caffeine as I have suspected. Regardless, having tired eyes and not being able to put your body to sleep is not fun.

As I was shutting my eyes, the alarm rings to bring in the new day. I struggle to get out of bed, wipe my sand-papery eyes, and turn on the coffee pot. I so desperately wanted to grab my pillow and snuggle back into bed in order to shut the rest of the world out for at least 30 more minutes. Didn't happen. 

I realized that time was marching forward and I was not.

I was irritated that I had to sit in a germy, cold waiting room for who knew how long with a 13 month old who has recently found greater independence with walking, and is no longer content to just sit with mom and eat cheerios. 

I walked into Connor's room to wake him and was greeted with a smell that is completely distasteful at any time- but ESPECIALLY morning. As I reached to change him, I was greeted by my sweet boy's morning, tired, just-for-mom smile. My heart melted , for a moment, and then I was back to the grindstone.

The morning wisped by with another dirty diaper, a bowl of oatmeal, packing the diaper bag, doing something with my hair to make it presentable, all the while trying to encourage my hubby who was not doing too well anticipating this test. Who would? 

We made in the car with 20 minutes to go until he had to be at his appointment on the 2nd floor of the hospital. 

The stress started building as we were still waiting to get on the interstate 10 minutes later. Neither of us are speaking, but know exactly what the other one is thinking. (Marriage is great that way :) 

A parking space and 3 dollars later we found ourselves at the receptionist's desk who seemed to not have Chris on her list of patients for the day. 

We both looked at each other with a half-smile, and at that moment I just told myself to breathe. Finally a nice man told the receptionist over the phone that he was expecting us. The relief was huge! This hospital is not exactly a hop, skip and jump away from our home, so it was nice that we didn't have to make the trip over again. 

As they get Chris checked in, Connor stared at him and cried for him all the way down the hall as daddy walked away. They're buds. This was cute also, but still not enough for me to completely relax.

I know what you're probably thinking- she has one kid and she's getting stressed out over sitting in a waiting room??- Well, yes, I definitely was. 

I was nervous about other people in the waiting room, because as everyone knows, Connor isn't exactly the quietiest baby on the block. He loves to be heard-----by everyone. 

I don't like hospitals anyway- never have. I have this subconscious fear of doctor's offices, medical facilities or I hate to say it- doctor's themselves. As I have grown older, I can control it more, but the fear is still somewhat there. 

Connor started complaining to me, very vocally just about 5 minutes after Chris walked back so I reached into my bag and realized I had forgotten ANY type of snacks or Connor's sippy cup. How does this happen?? I guess that's me for ya! 

I started to panic. It was silly of me, and I should've just thought about the fact that it's a hospital which means cafeteria, and vending machines. But, that's what happens when trying to run on a few hour's sleep. 

After the 10th time of pulling Connor over to me, trying to get him interested in something besides the dirty hospital floor, and keeping him from pulling all of the plastic leaves off the fake tree, I was very near to bawling.

That's when it happened- the Lord pricked my heart right then about my bad attitude. I started to look around me and see people. People. People with bigger problems than my son wanting to play with a fake tree. Bigger problems than a husband having a biopsy on a nodule on his thyroid.
I'm not denying that this was a very scary situation, and it definitely would've made it easier to not have Connor at the moment, but the Lord was showing me something. 

A lady with a limp walked in about midway through my crisis and sat next to us. I saw her smile at Connor many times and show more interest then just the casual passer-by. She would hold out her hands as he would walk her direction and then he would decide to come to me.  I would sigh with relief every time he would choose me. After all, how do I know where this woman's been? I don't want her touching MY son! But shortly after these snobby thought subsided, I began to talk to the woman. I found out that she was waiting for an x-ray on her leg for a gunshot wound. As I listened to her talk about her family and realized how broken-hearted she was, I was convicted.

All my petty problems slowly began to dissipate, one by one, as I listened to this woman talk. O sure, Connor was still terrorizing the waiting room, but I suddenly had more patience with him. I realized how blessed I was to have a healthy son , whose family loves him, and is even around for him to get to know as he grows older. I suddenly am thankful, that no matter what the test results say that I have a husband who has been healthy thus far and is not dying with an incurable disease. 

But most of all, my thoughts are directed to my Lord. Without Him, where would I be? What would I have without Him? and what in the world do people do without the sweet peace of the Savior?  You see, I may have troubles and trials on this earth; there may be mountains that arise that I think are unpassable, but the truth is I have a Heavenly Father who created this world. Who created each and every one of us individually in His image and for His glory. The God that controls the universe, who holds it in his hands- this God- the only God is my Heavenly Father. Nothing comes as a shock to Him, from something so big as what's happening in our world today down to something so small as a forgotten sippy cup. 

What was I doing to show the Savior's love at the hospital today? Griping and complaining about sitting in a waiting room for over an hour? Fake-smiling at everyone on the outside but grumbling about my son on the inside? I've found that people can read you a lot more clearly than you think they can. 

I immediately reached for Connor and placed him in this dear lady's lap and let them sit together until she had to go back. I smiled looking on at the situation, and sit now on my comfy couch, thinking how silly I was this morning. Life is so much bigger than little annoyances, but it's through these little things that the Lord seems to show Himself the most. 

Today was the day I learned a little bit more about patience with my little one. Today was the day that I realized, yet again, that my problems are so tiny compared to some people's. Today was the day I would hope that I was an encouragement to a sweet lady who was such an encouragement to me. And most of all:  THIS was the day the Lord made, and at the end of it, I rejoiced and was GLAD in it.